


Accidental Hook up

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29020485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Relationships: Jamie/Kevin (Steven Universe)
Kudos: 3





	Accidental Hook up

Kevin looked around the beach, at the tide coming in and out, and the dry sand. He then turned around to look at the giant woman statue behind him, and the house held in a pair of her many hands.

“So…you live in a statue-house?” He craned his neck to look up and see if the eyes were windows, that’d be cool, he thought, to have eye windows.

“Yep! We get a great view of the beach out here. So, should we head down to the boardwalk?” After finding out that Kevin didn’t have anyone to hang out with that wasn’t as fake as he pretended to be, Steven had made it his mission to get him some friends his own age.

“Do we have to just go around the boardwalk to get me friends? This isn’t the first day of preschool, Steven. I’m gonna look like some pathetic weirdo.” Steven frowned.

“Well, what do you suggest we do?” Kevin opened his mouth to talk, after realizing he had no better plan. They turned on their heels to go to the boardwalk, when they heard a voice behind them.

“Hey Steven, who’s your friend?” They turned around to see Jamie the mailman carrying a large package in his arms. Steven realized his opportunity, and jumped to introduce them.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Kevin, I like your scarf.” Kevin lightly grabbed his scarf as his face heated up.

“T-thanks, it’s, it’s nice to meet you too.”

“Hi Jamie! This is Kevin, Jamie, Kevin. Kevin, Jamie.” Steven stepped aside to give them a chance to talk to each other.

“Anyway, here you go Steven. What did you even order?”

“Not important. Hey Kevin, Jamie here is a pretty good actor, you ever try any acting?” It was clear Steven was trying to move the conversation along, and get them to form a friendship.

“Uh, I was going to join drama class in high school, but there weren’t any spots left. I was in stage crew on a few school plays, though. You?”

“I actually got to put on a play for the whole town and got put in charge of the theater group for the whole city,” Jamie said, trying not to sound like he was bragging.

“Oh, that’s really cool!” Kevin and Jamie continued chatting and Steven smiled. They hadn’t even made it to the boardwalk and he already was having a good friendly conversation with Jamie. Then again, there was something a little weird about how red Kevin’s face was, and how he kept stumbling over his words…

“Well, there’s still a lot of town left to deliver mail to. Oh, yeah, Steven, here.” Jamie handed Steven the package and got the little signature machine with the pen on the string out of his mail bag for Steven to sign. Steven signed it with his name and little stars on the end and handed it back to Jamie, who put it back in his bag.

“I’ve got to go, but it was nice talking with you, Kevin,” he outstretched his hand to shake Kevin’s hand. Kevin’s face turned completely red and he hesitated before grabbing Jamie’s hand and shaking it nervously. Jamie smiled and gave a little goodbye and a wave as he walked off towards the other side of town.

“That was great Kevin! We haven’t even left and you’ve already made a friend,” he looked up at Kevin’s face for a response, to see him staring off into the distance, unaware that Steven had even said anything for about a half a minute.

“I’m sorry what?” Steven’s eyes widened as he slowly realized what was happening.

“Wait Kevin, do you, oh, oooooo!”

“What? What’s so interesting?”

“Oooooooo! Someone’s crushing!” Kevin stared at him with an angry expression.

“What? No, no! I, I don’t-” Kevin kept spouting off nonsense trying to explain away his crush as just ‘wanting to be his friend’, but to no avail.

“Kevin it’s okay, it’s just a crush. You know, this might be a good opportunity for you to feel better about that Sebina girl! Just, don’t try to do what you did with Stevonnie. That doesn’t work.” Kevin nodded and looked at the ground before sighing.

“Yeah, I know, I learned that the hard way. It’s, it’s a nice thought, but no relationship I’ve ever been in has ever ended well. No one seems to like my personality, or lack thereof.”

“What are you talking about, you’re great, you, uh-uh……..” they stood in silence for a minute as Steven racked his brain to find something to say.

“You have, good hair?” Kevin raised his eyebrow at him.

“Thanks?”

—

Upon finding out about Kevin’s crush on the mailman, Steven decided to get Connie to help him a get a date with him. He had ran into him a few times when walking past Steven’s house, maybe or maybe not on purpose, when Jamie usually delivered to that side of town. They sat on the couch and went over different ways to ask Jamie, debating which ways would convince him better, but Kevin stopped them.

“Uh, thanks kids, but I don’t think this is gonna work, he obviously doesn’t like me.”

“What, no, he totally likes you, maybe. Did you see how much he was smiling when you were talking earlier? He at least likes talking to you, that much we know,” he them turned back to Connie to continue their conversation.

“So I guess the best way is to just ask him to hang out, if we call it a date he might think it’s too forward.” Connie ran her hand through her hair as she looked at the plan they’d written out on a piece of notebook paper from her backpack.

“But we don’t have his number, or his address. Our best chance to talk to him is to wait until he comes by again to deliver the mail, but we don’t know what time he will, sometimes he delivers in the afternoon, not the morning.” Steven tapped the table as he thought of a way around the issue.

“We could go try to talk to him at the post office?”

“No way, that’s gonna make me look desperate, asking him only a week after we met is already a stretch.”

“Well we don’t have any other option. Okay, so far the plan is: go to the post office, ask Jamie to a movie, have him meet here-“

“Isn’t this over doing it?”

“Pshh, nah,” Steven scoffed.

—

The next morning the three had made their way down to the post office before Jamie had a chance to leave and deliver the mail. They walked in to see Jamie gathering up the mail he had to deliver for the day as he conversed with Barb. Kevin hesitated at the door. He didn’t want to do this because he knew Jamie would probably be busy, or at least fake being busy because he thought Kevin was weird.

“I can’t do this guys. Let’s just go.” Kevin started to walk backwards towards the door but Steven grabbed his arm and pulled him forward.

“Come on, Kevin. We already got here at like 6am on a Saturday, we didn’t give up sleeping in for you to back out. You have to at least ask him, or you’ll never know if he actually wanted to hang out.” Kevin nodded and took a deep breath. He began to make his way over to Jamie, and made Steven and Connie wait by the door. He cleared his throat and waited until Jamie was done talking to his coworker. Barb looked over Jamie’s shoulder to see Kevin debating between tapping him on the shoulder or not.

“Oh, nevermind, looks like someone wants to talk to you.” Jamie spun around to see Kevin and his face flushed. He never saw anyone he knew at the post office, so he’d barely fixed his bedhead yet. If he talked to Kevin again he would want to at least look decent. He wouldn’t admit it, but he kind of had a little crush on him..

“Oh! Kevin! How are you?” Kevin smoothed his hair down with his hand before speaking.

“W-well I was just about to deliver this, uh, letter, and I just wanted to know if you’d like to go to a movie tonight?” Jamie’s eyes widened, he didn’t expect Kevin to want to hang out with him, he was so much cooler than him.

“Oh, yeah totally!”

“Cool, meet outside that lady statue house at 7?”

“Sure! See you then. Well, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you later. Bye Kevin!”

When Jamie walked out the door both Kevin and Jamie pumped the air with their fist, with a ‘yes!’, glad the other didn’t see how ridiculous they were.

—

About an hour before 7 Steven and Connie had taken it upon themselves to give Kevin a makeover before his date. Steven and Pearl had ransacked Amethyst’s room and found a makeup box and some hair products, and as Steven searched, Pearl tried to organize it as much as she could. The makeup was old, and didn’t match Kevin’s skin tone, so they just opted for washing his face and filling in his eyebrows.

“Alright Kevin, in order to figure out what to do with your hair, I found this app that lets you make over a celebrity’s hair and tried to the find the one closest to your hairstyle, but the options were limited.”

“…Steven that’s uncle Jesse from Full House.”

“It was the closest one to your hairstyle!”

“The day I get a mullet is the day my casket is lowered six feet under the grass! How dare you!” Connie stepped between them and stopped them from bickering.

“Come on, we don’t wanna put Kevin in a bad mood before his big date!”

“I’m not in a bad mood!” Kevin exclaimed with an angry face.

“Enough guys! It’s five to 7 and Jamie will be here any second,” Connie shouted. There was a knock on the door. Shit.

“He’s already here! C’mon Kevin let’s go, let’s go!” Connie and Steven got behind Kevin and shoved him towards the door, and Kevin opened it.

“Hey Kevin, ready for the movie?”

“Uh yeah, let’s g-” Steven pulled out his phone and pretended he was looking at something when it wasn’t even on.

“Oh golly gee! It looks like the movie was actually at 6, I can’t believe we messed up the showtime so drastically!” Steven said loudly and dramatically. Kevin turned around at him with danger in his eyes. Was this a revenge plan from Steven and Connie? Humiliation in front of his crush? ‘What the hell are you doing?!’ He mouthed before turning back to Jamie with a smile.

“Well what a shame, well we should at least get Kevin and Jamie some refreshments before Jamie goes. Come on Connie! Why don’t you two sit down?” Steven grabbed Connie by the arm and led her to Rose’s room as the light of the respective gem illuminated the room. The door closed behind them and Jamie looked around the room, confused. The kitchen was right there.

The two stood there awkwardly, each thinking of something to say. Kevin felt betrayed as Steven and Connie had messed up his date, but then realized, they were trying to get them to talk. He wasn’t prepared for so much conversation. He cleared his throat.

“Uh, shall we sit?” Kevin gestured to the couch. Jamie smiled and nodded, following him over to the couch, sitting next to him.

They sat up straight and silently, neither knowing exactly what to say to the other. One of them was going to have to break the ice.

“Uh, sorry, I was sure the movie was at 7:30, I’m sorry for ruining the date.”

“Date?” Kevin’s eyes widened. He forgot that he had asked Jamie to hang out. He thought this was just a friend thing. He had ruined it. He’d scared him off for sure, that’s what he got for showing human emotion.

“Oh, s-sorry, I mean, it’s not a date, I mean, unless you wanna date, in that case I’m in if you are, but I mea-“ Jamie laughed.

"It’s okay Kevin, you don’t need to worry.” He looked down at his hands and fidgeted.

“And, if you want this to be a date, I won’t object…” Kevin’s face flushed crimson as he stuttered out an agreement.

“O-okay.” Jamie looked around the empty room.

“Looks like we won’t be getting our drinks anytime soon, what do you wanna do?”

“I don’t know, anything you want I guess.” Jamie stayed silent, he expected Kevin had something in mind.

“It was a long walk over here, I’m a little tired…” Jamie said as he slowly inched over to Kevin and leaned his head on his shoulder, making Kevin tense up a little before he calmed down, but that didn’t change his red face.

Steven and Connie had taken the long route to the bathroom without going through the door in the livingroom, and were currently hiding around the corner, watching the date progress. They mouthed exclamations of 'They’re cuddling!!’ and 'shush!’ and clamped their hands over each other’s mouths as not to ruin the date. But in the scuffle they fell down right into the livingroom, causing Kevin and Jamie to look at them. They stared at each other, and Steven and Connie silently got up, fell down again, and ran off around the corner until they were out of sight.

—

It had been about an hour, they had talked themselves out, and they fell asleep on the couch. Steven and Connie quietly went up the stairs to grab Steven’s blanket and threw it over them. They quietly knocked on the gem door and Amethyst opened it. She looked over their shoulders at Kevin and Jamie.

“Aww, the lovebirds got tuckered out. C’mon I think I have a few spare mattresses under the rusty basketball hoop.”


End file.
